I Can't Conclude This Essay

Currently, one of my least favorite things in the world is structural dependency theory. I have an essay due on Friday that is meant to gloss over how colonialism relates to both structural dependency theory and modernization theory. If your eyes glazed o
ver after reading those two sentences, multiply that by about 1,000 and you might be sort of close to where I am right now.

The essay is meant to be 2,500 words. I have 2,200 words. Literally all I need is a conclusion. I have been staring at my open Word document for close to two hours now. I have made a Christmas playlist on iTunes and have danced to it while doing dishes. I have done two loads of laundry and watched two episodes of Friends and one of Gilmore Girls. I don't even like Gilmore Girls. I find the dialogue way too staged and I think Rory (Alexis Bladel or whatever her name is) is one of the worst actresses to ever get a job on a TV show airing on a major network. I have aimlessly paged through the textbook I'm supposedly referencing throughout this essay. I have also invested way too much time into deciding precisely why I don't like Gilmore Girls. Now I'm updating this blog.

The one thing I literally cannot bring myself to do is write a conclusion to this essay.

I know a lot of people are probably groaning that I'm complaining that I can't finish an essay that is due on Friday. But I'm fully aware that I don't really know what I'm talking about in this essay, so in an ideal world, I need to finish this essay today, let it sit for a few days, and go back and read it on like Wednesday to see if it makes any kind of coherent, logical sense. And I actually cannot bring myself to write 300 words so I can just close my computer and get on with my day. I wish I had Mean Girls on DVD. That would be an excellent time waster.

This is an illustration of what I might do later today if I still don't have a conclusion to my essay written. Instead of using it to dis on girls from my high school (mostly because there were about 10 girls in my high school and I liked all of them and also that would be beyond pathetic) I may create the first Burn Book for Tea Party candidates.

One time in college (sidetrack) I watched Mean Girls three times in a row. This was due to two factors: 1) a lack of desire to do anything actually productive with my day 2) I was home alone and I couldn't get off the couch to remove the movie from the DVD player. Not like a mental block - I was actually, physically restrained from getting off the couch because every time I picked up my head even a tiny bit, the Long Island Iced Teas from last night began throbbing in my skull and my entire body begged for mercy. It was one of the worst days ever, and is also an excellent example of why you should always enter the Backer with a strong and clearly delineated idea of the amount of Long Island Iced Teas you plan to allow yourself to consume. Eventually Katy came home and fixed problem #2 for me. But right now, watching that film three times in a row actually sounds like a phenom way to spend six hours.

Anything. But. Writing. This. Conclusion.

Oh, Erin Wash, if you're reading this - I also read about ten entries from your blog. So thanks for that. It was really helpful, informative, fun, and interesting. How many more synonyms do you think I can come up with to describe your blog?