So I’ve come to the conclusion that I love pretty much everything about this country (with the notable exception of its pretty appalling human rights record).
Seriously. I’ve been making notes on little things about Germany and little things that Germans do that I am just completely enamored with. It’s like we’re in the very beginning stages of a romantic relationship. Everything Germany does just enchants me and I want it to do more things just like it.
Here are the things I like about Germany:
1) They are extremely literal-minded and blunt. You know who else is extremely literal-minded and blunt? THIS girl. My mom’s mom was German, and my mom always used to say that Grandma Marge called it like she saw it. “She called a spade a spade,” I think is the phrase. There was no messing around with her. Things were what they were. GERMANY IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT. I’ve noticed that no one jaywalks here – like NO one. My good friend Andrew actually almost got arrested in Munich for jaywalking. So I brought this up to my cousin, Jay, in Heidelberg, and asked him what the deal was. Jaywalking seems like an extremely minor offense, you know? He told me that Germans are so literal-minded that this applies even to really minor laws like jaywalking. There’s no nuance. It’s black and white. It’s against the law, damnit, so don’t do it. Also, their train system? Their underground, etc, in their major cities? It’s not like every other metro system in the world where you buy a ticket and that ticket goes into an automated machine and only then are you allowed passage onto the train. It’s literally a good faith system. You buy a ticket but if you didn’t, you could still get on the train because there’s no turnstile or anything like that. Sure, they have ticket checkers check people on the train once in a blue moon, but they take it so for granted that everyone will follow the rules that they aren’t super stringent about enforcing them. The rules are clearly posted everywhere and everyone follows them. There is no mystery. I LOVE IT. Also, on a similar note, the word for sex translates literally to “genital traffic.” I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS COUNTRY.
2) They are also shockingly modest. Everyone speaks English. EVERYONE. But if you ask, they kind of look really shamed and say, “oh, little bit, “(everyone, without fail, says this exact phrase with the same look on their face), and then they start talking and they are fluent. Like, no bones about it fluent. But they don’t jabber at you and keep you around endlessly like the people in some countries I could mention. They tell you what you need to know or do and then your interaction is over. It’s incredible. No unnecessary embellishment or shooting the crap. I also act this way and so I feel completely at home here.
3) They are Type-A as HELL. I need to say no more to explain how this resonates with me, but I will point out that the very making of this list probably is a good example.
4) They love beer. Similarly little further explanation needed.
5) This is actually probably a story about Australia, but I learned it in Berlin and have kept forgetting to mention it. So the Australian embassy is in Berlin, except for three weeks of the year, when it moves to Munich. These three weeks correspond exactly with Oktoberfest. This suggests one of two conclusions to me: either Aussies get so hammered at beer festivals that they are in constant need of their embassy and so it’s just more efficient to move the whole shebang, or the embassy guys don’t want to miss out on the fun. I’m inclined to believe it’s a combination of both. Also, by including this paragraph I get to use my “Australia” tag again, which is great because I’m using that a LOT more than I thought I would. Also, my new Australian friends tried to get me to eat Vegemite last night. They succeeded. It was revolting. It was kind of funny – they were all gathered around this table, trying to get the American to eat Vegemite, and then I reacted probably exactly the way they thought I would. They also told me that I am their favorite American. This is probably because I have been really adamant about explaining my love for Obama and dislike for Bush to them, so they know I’m not one of “those” Americans.
So although I for reals for reals love Germany, not super obsessed with Munich. I mean, it’s okay. It’s no Berlin. Berlin was phenomenal. It was so full of history and culture and it was hip and happening all that crap. Munich has some stuff, but I’ve mostly just done day trips. I went to the Disney castle yesterday and Dachau today (also super depressing but I’ve already done the concentration camp entry) and then just wandered around the English Gardens (Central Parkish) today. I’ve actually been doing things kind of backwards – not going on a city tour til tomorrow because just of the way it’s panned out with people wanted to do things on certain days, etc. So tomorrow is my last day in Munich and also the only one I’ll spend the majority of the day in Munich proper. I’ll be fine with moving on.
But Germany, it will be so hard to leave you. Sigh.
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