I am in Berlin! And have been since Monday (the 3rd). Berlin is an excellent, excellent city. I am totally digging it. Much like Beyonce's rendition of "Little Drummer Boy" (long story). I've heard a lot of people describe Berlin as New York in the 80s. But anyway I've learned a ton of cool and fascinating things and if you don't want to hear a lot about WWII/the Holocaust/the Cold War this may not hold a ton of interest for you, but I love history (especially recent history) so this city is a freaking gold mine for things of that nature.
Anyway.
I got here on Monday after my flight got delayed yet again. I'm going to say it. I am never taking Aer Lingus again. They may be cheap, but it's too much work. All their flights are delayed all the time, their planes are REALLY old, they don't publish the gate your flight is leaving from until like half an hour before you board so you have to be paying attention all the time... I don't know. I'm so over it. Also I am frustrated with them enough by now to admit that they're the airline that almost wouldn't let me on the plane to London, so there's that. And this flight to Berlin was delayed because the original plane actually broke down and they had to fly another in so we could leave. Yeah. I'm over it.
MOVING ON, I finally arrived in Berlin about 3 p.m. Monday. I figured out public transport all by myself from the airport to the hostel. I was MASSIVELY proud of myself for that, especially because I speak not a word of German. I will say this, though - some of the city trains are aboveground, and I was waiting for one, on this platform, snow was falling, this guy had a German shepherd and this voice was barking something in German over a loudspeaker... I don't know, I got realllllll uneasy for a second. It was a little too Auschwitz-y for a second there. (more on death camps later...hooray!)
I'm staying at Raise a Smile, which I would totally recommend for anyone staying in Berlin. A lot of their profits go to a Zambian childrens' charity and the hostel is small and clean and really well-done. Just a plug for them there. Anyway my first night in Berlin I went ice skating (random but fun) with some people from my hostel and then to just this local neighborhood bar. It was really low-key but I got in so late in the day that that was really all I had time to do. Total sidenote: I don't think Germans use conditioner. I didn't pack any liquids and figured I'd just buy everything in Germany, and I went around to a bunch of pharmacies looking for conditioner. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Had no problem finding shampoo, but not only did my German guidebook have a word for "shampoo" but none for "conditioner," every single person I asked for help literally had no idea what I was talking about. If the attendant spoke English, I'd explain that I was looking for conditioner, "you know, it goes on after shampoo?" and they'd say, "AFTER shampoo?" and look at me with this totally quizzical stare. If they didn't speak English, I'd say, "ahhh... conditioner?" and smile and point to my head and mime putting in conditioner. Shockingly, they couldn't help me either. But isn't that odd?
On Tuesday, I went on a walking tour of Berlin organized by this company called New Europe. Another shameless plug: If you are in pretty much any Western European city (or Jerusalem...oddly) GO ON THIS TOUR. It's free, it's informative, the guides are funny and extremely knowledgeable... huge thumbs up. My guide was named Stephanie and she was originally from New Zealand and she is also my new favorite person. She knew SO much about Berlin (she's been living here for like 3 years or something) and clearly loved loved loved the city and she was just freaking adorable.
Things I saw/learned:
1) The first stop on the trip wasn't really a stop. It was just that there was this hotel right across from the origin of the tour, and Stephanie pointed to it and was like, "here, history was made. In (whatever date) Michael Jackson was staying at this hotel and he decided to dangle his baby over the balcony." She laughed and said, "I show you guys Kaiser Wilhelm's palace, I show you Hitler's bunker, but always, ALWAYS, the site that gets the ah-HAs! and the nods of attention are when I show you the hotel where Michael Jackson dangled his baby off the balcony." It was pretty funny.
2) A couple of our first stops were the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe (technically NOT the Holocaust Memorial because this concentrates solely on Jewish victims) which is, oddly, right next to Hitler's bunker. Here is a picture of Hitler's bunker:
Seriously. It's a car park now. That is where Hitler committed suicide. Basically, the German government is actually doing a baller job of Holocaust attrition/memorialization, and in this particular case they really didn't want it becoming a shrine to neo-Nazis/in the words of my tour guide, "it's historically significant but not historically important." Like, why memorialize the place Hitler died? They literally paved it over and made a car park. In...2006? I might have that date wrong, the World Cup came to Germany, so the government put up an extremely bland, matter of fact sign that explains what the site is, but offers no kind of flourishes or engaging material. I thought it was actually kind of cool - why turn the place where Hitler died into some kind of tourist mecca? Like, why bother? Don't pay him any attention, you know? I liked that they did that, but obviously some people don't, so it's mildly controversial that the site isn't more...touristy, but I'm glad it is the way that it is.
3) We also saw the former Luftwaffe (Nazi Air Force) building. After the war, this building ran SMACK up against the Berlin Wall, on the East Side. It was turned into the East German Ministry of Ministries, which honestly sounds like something straight out of Orwell, but it's a terrifying building. There's this horrifying mural that glorifies Soviet totalitarianism and everyone is blond and smiling and happy and German and like, baling hay... it's totally weird. This is also the site of a workers' rebellion that was horribly, bloodily squashed by the East German police, and there's a huge photograph commemorating that right outside the building (the Germans are nothing if not totally up front about their past). Stephanie also told us that she is 5'7", so not exactly short. However, the doorknobs on the doors of the building are past her shoulders. The Nazis did that in a deliberate effort to intimidate people and make them feel small. However, my favorite fact about this building? So it started life off as the HQ for the Nazi Air Force, turned into this bureaucratic Soviet nightmare, and what is it today? ...the tax office. The German IRS. Continuing the tradition of horrifying and intimidating.
4) From there, we moved to the Berlin Wall. There are three sections of the Wall still standing, and this, Stephanie told us, was quite frankly the least interesting, but it was right there, so that's where we went. She gave us some facts about the Wall that sort of surprised me: 10,000 tried to escape (that number doesn't surprise me... whatever, I would have no clue how to even ballpark it) but THIS is what I found interesting. 5,000 succeeded. FIVE THOUSAND! THAT'S HALF OF ALL THOSE WHO TRIED! That's a SHOCKINGLY good success rate! I was blown away by that. My image was totally this wall manned...fortification surrounded by shoot to kill, trigger happy border guards, and Stephanie clarified that this is mostly an accurate image, but people came up with creative ways to escape, etc. Still, that blew me away. Also, 138 people died trying to escape. I don't want to trivialize 138 people losing their lives by any stretch of the matter, but that also seemed relatively low to me, you know? I also learned that when you see images of graffiti on the Wall, that's ALWAYS on the West, because basically if you got that close to the Wall on the East the guards would kill you. (Again seems discontinuous with 5,000 people escaping, but whatever.)
5) There are a lot of museums in Berlin, more than in London OR Paris. They are mostly full of Egyptian pottery and you can see that anywhere and let's move on. (Although one museum DOES have the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, which is pretty awesome.)
6) Last story Stephanie told. This is probably SO apocryphal it's not even funny, but I like it and it makes this really nice narrative so I'm going to choose to believe it. So at the end of the 80s, when Gorbachev was president (that's not the right word but I can't think of the correct one and you know what i mean... also, sidenote, Gorbachev was the only Soviet president to go to university. Wow, Soviets. Your republic FAILED??? SHOCKING.) anyway. 80s. Gorbachev. He offered each Soviet republic the option of self-governance and de-communization and some countries (Czechoslovakia, Hungary, etc) took him up on that straightaway. However, East Germany was having none of it, but it was starting to be obvious that East Germans were going on "holiday" to Hungary or wherever and just...not coming back. Basically, they were having this massive population drain. So they had this huge meeting to decide what to do and they came up with this plan: they'd offer anyone with proper documentation, a certain amount of money, etc, the option to leave the country and resettle elsewhere...Hungary, West Germany, USA, etc. Wherever. However, this option would not be time-sensitive. So they could be like, "yeah, you can go on ahead, just wait for us to give you a date," and then they'd never give a date. Stephanie explained this better than me, but I'm trying, I swear. So basically the plan was to keep a lot of people in limbo and make them THINK they could leave East Germany but never actually give them the option to do so. Similarly, the same minutes said the Wall WOULD come down, but gave no timeline as to when.
So the guy they chose to read off this new plan at a press conference was the main spokesman for the GDR. Apparently he was also a PR nightmare... like the Burlusconi of his day. He partied all night, dated prostitutes, did all these drugs, etc. So he missed this big important meeting for whatever reason, and when it comes time to give this press conference, he has literally no clue what he's meant to talk about. So he gives literally the most boring press conference in history. He's droning on about Gorbachev and communism and whatever. Journalists are falling asleep in their chairs, people are getting up and leaving, etc. So this Italian journalists decides, screw it, I came for a story and I'm getting a story, raises his hand and decides to deviate from the standard questions. He raises his hand and says, "What is going to happen with the Wall?"
Of course the PR guy has no idea. He missed the meeting. So he starts flipping through the minutes and it's apparently a lot to process. He says, "Well... it seems as though anyone can now leave East Germany. The Wall is coming down." He misses the part about proper docs, about the money in the bank, about the undefined waiting period, etc. So now people are REALLY paying attention. Did he just say that people can leave East Germany of their own free will? They start peppering him with questions, none of which he can answer (also, apparently this is all on youtube) and he just gets overwhelmed. He's flipping through the minutes, trying frantically to answer questions, nothing's working. Finally one journalist says, "Can you tell us WHEN the wall will be coming down?" and, at a loss, this guy just looks up and says, "Well, as far as I can tell...immediately."
WHOA! People lose their SHIT! (Sorry for cursing but that is about the only word that can convey what would be happening right about now.) All the journalists at the press conference go INSANE. They're cabling back home, urging their newspapers to get ON the story, etc. They thought they were coming for a routine East German propagandistic whatever, and they got news that would literally change the world. As the news gets out, people start FLOCKING toward the wall. The guards have no clue what's going on, but they take one look at the huge crowd and are just like... what the hell are we supposed to do? They say anyone with the proper docs can go through, but there's such a huge crowd that people are throwing receipts, napkins, anything made of paper at them and rushing through before they can be stopped. And obviously, once they're on the Western side, they ain't coming back. It was just this massive flood of people, all brought about by that one single word - immediately - and it totally changed hte course of history forever.
So, like I said, probably totally apocryphal. But still really a cool idea.
This is SO long. I have more to write about - including a pub crawl and a concentration camp - but I'm going to call it quits for right now and hopefully maybe write some more later. Cheers!
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